emily dawn

City of Rocks

2009-09-21T03:07:09Z

I pretended I was climbing a castle for various valiant reasons, as the wind brushed my frame.
It was enough to make me feel important.
I didn't want to come down to reality.
I got lost in record minutes anyway.

i recently became aware

2009-09-04T18:47:09Z

my body is nothing more than a bucket full of emotions
swishing, sloshing, splashing
only to be poured out like dirty mop water, at the end of my purpose

avecdieu @ 2009-08-29T08:44:00

2009-08-29T15:18:18Z

I parallel the orange kitten, when I'd rather emulate the red fox.
Now: small, naive, and easily shattered courage. Hope: graceful, astute, and sweetly brave. Although, when the right voice steadily streams through my headphones, my desire is fulfilled. In memories, I transformed when I felt a hand upon my waist or a forehead against my lower neck, a nose against my upper spine.

Songs only last so long & memories are unreliable companions.
I must find a genuine path.
I must understand the Savior's heart.
Then, I could sleep with my white-tipped tail wrapped my sturdy, valiant frame.

i'm tired of thinking about you

2009-08-23T18:02:05Z

i'm tired of thinking about you.

as of late

2009-06-29T16:03:58Z

riding my bike is the only source
of purpose
of safety
of felicity

but pushing pedals won't
pay the bills
save the lost or
service the king

dear friend,

2009-05-29T23:56:01Z

dear friend,
i don't want you to go away. i want you around.
you make me happy and you cheer me up.
i'm confused and upset with your recent behavior, but i am trying to be patient.
i just want you around.
love,
emily

six lists

2009-05-21T05:50:10Z

8 Things I did yesterday:
1. ate a waffle
2. ate a slice of mango
3. scored a new owl at a thrift store
4. scored a new dress at a thrift store
5. held an orange kitten
6. wore a pink sweater/shirt
7. took a snooze in the car
8. helped someone on the crossword (four-letter word for A Sharp key: Bflat!)

8 Things I’m Looking Forward To:
1. trying yoga again this summer--i'm determined to use it to better my posture [this time around]
2. possible roadtrip to Canada with Ashbear
3. finding a place for my new owl
4. etsy purchase coming in the mail!
5. summer reading
6. mastering bradly the road-bike
7. dare i say jury duty?
8. learning how to speak French again

8 Things I Wish I could do:
1. camp more often
2. play piano without using sheet music
3. run for a long time
4. read and finish the Lord of the Rings books (anyone want to read them aloud to me?)
5. make up my mind quickly
6. budget my money well
7. be more adventurous
8. be brave enough to ride the bike everywhere

8 Things I am Wanting to Work on/am Working on:
1. exercising
2. replying letters sooner/quicker
3. drinking more water
4. being assertive
5. being decisive
6. finding new music
7. no more ice cream
8. cooking

The Last 8 movies I've Seen:
1. Garden State
2. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
3. Sister Act II
4. Never Been Kissed (once was enough.. but three times? geez...)
5. Star Trek
6. Lars and the Real Girl
7. The Birds
8. Aladdin

8 Shows I Watch:
I really don't watch much television, but I'lI watch these shows if they're on:
1. the office
2. gilmore girls
3. project: runway
4. jepoardy
5. new scandinavian cooking
6. austin city limits
7. it's always sunny in philadelphia
8. rick steves' europe

there & back again

2009-04-26T22:28:27Z

colly strings
blue car
blue car
manchester orchestra
thought of number
number
a movie script ending
the other number
manchester orchestra

avecdieu @ 2009-04-08T13:20:00

2009-04-08T18:38:06Z

Curly hair, blue eyes, maroon tee.
Red bow, small frame, cuffed jeans.

March nights, soft skin, warm breaths.
Addled thoughts, lonely sighs, broken hearts.

avecdieu @ 2009-03-25T17:59:00

2009-03-26T00:34:03Z

THREE NAMES I GO BY
1. emily dawn
2. emiline
3. amelia

THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE
1. picking cockleburs in fields
2. filing papers
3. library duties

THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. country with parents
2. city in a house with relatives
3. city in apartment with five others girls; third floor

THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH
1. rick steves' europe
2. the office
3. project runway, when i find it, which isn't often

THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN
1. portland, oregon
2. missoula, montana
3. yellowstone park, wymoing

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. the rest of europe
2. redwood forest in california
3. alaska sounds neat

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. bread; all kinds
2. apples
3. i'm starting to really like potatoes

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO
1. summer weather
2. death cab for cutie concert
3. finishing color photography

THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED
1. tigger the kitten
2. oreo the dog (it was a family pet, though)
3. ally the cat

THREE FAVORITE BANDS/ ARTISTS
(no such thing for me! how about I just list three albums I've been listening to a lot lately)
1. flashlights by so many dynamos
2. the photo album by death cab for cutie
3. say hello (EP) by rosie thomas

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS:
1. water
2. milk
3. chai tea

THREE THINGS YOU SAY A LOT
1. "I don't know"
2. ridiculous
3. that's cool

THREE FAVORITES WORDS
1. perhaps
2. haphazardly
3. beau

THREE HABITS YOU HAVE
1. brushing my bangs to the side with my hand
2. eating ice
3. poor posture

THREE ACTIVITIES YOU LOVE TO DO
1. riding bikes
2. taking naps
3. playing scrabble

THREE FAVORITE SOUNDS
1. my brother jesse's voice when he reads aloud
2. wind
3. a friendly, sincere hello

avecdieu @ 2009-03-13T14:20:00

2009-03-13T20:25:25Z

One of my favorite birthday gifts rests in the back flap of my pocket moleskine.
It's really just the representation of the gift, but when it falls out sometimes, it's almost like an old friend.

Y'know the scene in Amelie when she falls to the floor as a splash of water?
Yeah, that's how I felt today.
But then the old birthday gift in the moleskine scooped me up and whispered of a better day.

Apparently it's spring break, starting today; I hadn't even realized.
I hope I'll be able to rest.
I'm concerned I'm not getting enough rest.
People don't seem to believe me when I say I sleep a lot, not because I want to, but because I find myself needing extra sleep.
and when I don't, I find myself falling to floor as a splash of water a lot.

avecdieu @ 2009-03-10T13:20:00

2009-03-10T19:20:48Z

I have a childish idea in my head that if the cold weather goes away,
so will my loneliness. I hate Indian winters.

What's worse than being lonely?
Being abandoned.

Jesus wants me to be brave.
He doesn't want me to run away.

avecdieu @ 2008-10-30T22:06:00

2008-10-31T04:26:39Z

Monday after my math class, I tuned the radio to NPR.
The familiar voice of Garrison Keillor told me about whose birthdays it was on that day.
The one that struck my interest was Sylvia Plath. He told a little bit about her.
Then he gave another name and information and then he read a poem.
The poem reached my ears and passed through my brain and went down my throat and stopped at my heart.
It was soothed, it was inspired, it was alive. My heart is alive. My heart is alive. My heart is alive.
I am in love and Jesus has led me to bravery.

avecdieu @ 2008-07-11T11:30:00

2008-07-11T17:37:34Z

I want to draw today, and make my way into some thrift stores.
Eventually, I want to find some new shoes--same song second verse.

en ce moment:
My hair is a tangle of curls
and my nightgown is blue.
My skin has sheet marks
and my knees have the
itch to ride a bike.

avecdieu @ 2008-06-29T00:24:00

2008-06-29T06:32:11Z

I grow weary of her passion.
Such sweet, pure, courageous passion.
and I'm afraid that the weariness is turning to jealously--Humble my heart, Father.

Nights like this I am exhausted from tasting, feeling, hearing the life that radiates from those around me.
I am not like them. I am not like them. I am not like them.

avecdieu @ 2008-06-23T18:43:00

2008-06-24T00:48:14Z

A few days I go I drew an arrow on my left forearm pointing outward.
Push, push, push.
Outward motion.
Outward action.

Even a heart full of apathy has some kind of desire.
I want to learn to serve.

avecdieu @ 2008-06-07T01:43:00

2008-06-07T08:48:09Z

I woke up to rain tickling my face this morning.
My friend and I slept on her deck last night.
Before soaking in the night-time air, we watched The Nanny Diaries.
I thought it was a really cute film, and I especially liked the main character's clothing style.

avecdieu @ 2008-06-02T17:06:00

2008-06-02T23:10:41Z

I graduate in two and a half hours.
I've tried on three dresses twenty different times--
Then I realized no matter what I wear I'm still going to look horribly goofy beneath that red gown.

The kid I'm walking with and I have decided to piggy-back it.
It's going to be epic.

---

you know, I really wish I could skip this whole deal.

avecdieu @ 2008-05-26T21:00:00

2008-05-27T03:02:50Z

Sometimes, I just want someone to take a nap beside me.
you know?

avecdieu @ 2008-05-03T01:29:00

2008-05-03T07:29:45Z

A dream from eight months ago haunts my mind.
Moments from four months ago torment my heart.

Get out get out get out.

avecdieu @ 2008-04-20T19:28:00

2008-04-21T02:00:19Z

I cannot do this anymore.

avecdieu @ 2008-03-16T22:07:00

2008-03-17T04:09:44Z

I cannot confide.
I cannot confide.
I cannot confide.

The longest winter.

avecdieu @ 2008-03-01T11:48:00

2008-03-01T19:04:58Z

Dear March,
Please be gentle. February left some unfriendly scars upon my head and heart.
I would like it if you could help me tend to those wounds.

Last year you led me to France. I know that is a hard adventure to live up to,
but I know we can find great adventures, perhaps through the lens of my camera, or
through the wheels of my bike, or the pages of books.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you.
Sincerely,
Emily

avecdieu @ 2008-02-22T21:33:00

2008-02-23T05:07:26Z

I wish I was brave.
I look at the the sun and the mountains and I listen to my heartbeat and they inspire me to be brave.

avecdieu @ 2007-11-01T17:22:00

2007-11-01T23:36:57Z

I keep looking at objects and thinking how lonely they must feel--trees, the human heart, feet, end tables..
---
My teacher tells me I need confidence.
I think she'd like to understand.